Sunday, November 23, 2014

flood of consciousness

Hej there you old blog, you old pal. I think I want to be one of those people that keeps track of some daily details of life. These people exist, right? It started when they installed this new bike counter leading to central station. Realistically, there are probably over five main ways in which bicycles can arrive at central station. On the one that I use regularly, they just installed this bike counter. It is amazing. I don't know how they can even do these things. Not counting people. Not counting too many bikes. It works through a sensor that is installed under the path, and what happens when a unicycle goes by? These are important things, but from what I've seen, it looks accurate. So then I decided to start writing down which bicycle number I was each time I passed. This is at least once or twice a day, depending on whether I go directly home or go in some other direction. I've got big plans for making some sort of plot with this information once I've gathered up a good collection.

Sometimes I think I only write about bicycling so much to give myself more dimension. It doesn't feel bad to me to be so enthusiastic about folk dance, but I can see other people register my enthusiasm as overzealousness. Overzealousness doesn't win hearts, but neither does an awkward attempt at hiding my enthusiasm or making it seem less. I'm not bothered by my love of folk dance, but I'm so sensitive to people having a negative reaction to it. I don't expect people to match my enthusiasm (or even be anywhere close to it). I sort of expect that the majority of people would have a neutral and open opinion about folk dance. Even if they don't share the same enthusiasm, they understand what it is like to be enthusiastic about a thing. Sort of a "That's cool that you are really into a thing that you love. I'm like that about [insert enthusiasm of your choice]." But it makes me sad when I'm made to feel like it is a bad thing. I don't want to hear people tell me that I shouldn't want to dance more in the evening if I already danced all day long. I have so many feelings about this, but it is not so easy to put words to it. The words really help to sort through the feelings, so I'll keep thinking on it and perhaps come back with more later.

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